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Death Ends A Life, Not A Relationship, And The Relationship Is Still Two-Sided

Updated: Apr 11, 2023



Earlier this year, a friend of mine who is now in spirit came to me during a breathwork session. It’s not the first time he’d done so, but this time, his message to me was filled with powerful guidance. I was experiencing some doubt and uncertainty about my path and he was adamant about what I needed to do.


He took my hand.


And he said, “Mary, help them see. Help them hear. Help them feel.”


I have tears welling in my eyes now as write this, as I remember the emotion of the moment. It was so strong. His presence was so….powerful.


He is the same spirit person who pushed me towards mediumship in the first place. Yes, I could see and feel many of my loved ones in spirit, but he was who I referred to as “my pusher”. Many of us working mediums have them: a specific loved one who pokes and prods us towards mediumship. Towards our soul path.


He was mine.


I remember one specific time when I was in a deep sleep in the middle of the night. I was not yet a medium. It wasn’t even on my radar. I suddenly shot up in bed, awakened out of nowhere, with the name of his stepson (who he thought of as a son) spoken inside my head as clear as could be. Simultaneously (literally, in the exact same instantaneous moment), my alarm clock across the bedroom started going off all by itself. Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!

“What in the….?” I thought to myself. The alarm clock hadn’t been turned on. In fact, it was never touched and was never even used. Then, it just…. turned itself off as I sat there, frozen and upright, wide awake. At 2am. Stunned.


And why was his stepson’s unique, uncommon name in my head? I hadn’t thought about his stepson in years. He’d lost access to him. He'd been kept from him in the months before he died. It was a huge source of pain for him in his life. But I hadn’t thought of him in a long, long time. So, I knew with 100% certainty that the name was from outside of myself. That it never would have come from my own brain. That it wasn’t from me and had to have come from my friend.


My friend. Who was very, very…dead.


So was I very, very…..crazy? I wondered…?


He was a pusher when he was living, too.





“You can’t drop out of grad school, Mary. You’re too smart for that.”


And, my brother, who was legitimately on track to being scouted by the minor leagues just like my dad had been. He’d ask me every single time we hung out, without fail, “Why did your brother quit baseball?” Every. Single. Time.


Always wanting people to reach their full potential even though he often didn’t see it or value it in himself.


The strange poking and prodding continued after that middle-of-the night incident.


It became clear that I wasn’t crazy.


He was my pusher in spirit.


“Do it!” he’d say about my mediumship. (That’s something he’d always say when he was here too: “Do it!”)


I told him once in my head, “If I’m supposed to do this [mediumship], if this is my path, you need to help me.”


And he has. He’s been my cheerleader.


There’s obviously a lot more to the story with my development, but it went from there. He did help me immensely. Then after I got situated, he pulled back for some time. Let me work. I’ve been a professional medium for three years now. He’s still around. I feel him. We communicate sometimes. He wakes me up in the night with rock music occasionally (ha). But he doesn’t push me. I have young kids. A lot of clients. I’m busy.


But. He’s bacccck.



“Mary, help them see. Help them hear. Help them feel.”


Helping everyday people communicate with their loved ones.


I’ve known for some time that I can help people communicate with their own loved ones in spirit. Not people striving to develop as mediums, or to develop their ‘mediumship’. But, to help just everyday people, especially grieving people, to realize what is actually meant by the old, typically unhelpful cliché’ that is so often said to them, “You carry him in your heart.” Or, “She will always be with you.”





That statement – or semblances of them – are said to the grieving so often, but no one ever explains what it actually means or explains how we can even know it to be true.


How do we know!?


What does it matter?!


And how can this even help me!?


It’s likely that many of the people saying these things to grievers don’t even think through what the statements mean. They just say them.


But I know what the statements mean.


People message me all the time with experiences they’ve had with their own spirit loved ones. People who aren’t mediums. People I’ve done readings for and people I haven’t. People who’ve had amazingly loving, sometimes even life-altering, connections with their own loved ones.


Spirit brings up the connections in readings, too. As validation that the connections were real.





Even when the connections with their own loved ones aren’t ‘life-altering’, I know firsthand that blending with our own people and animals is a grief journey tool. A powerful one. It’s one that may not be for everyone depending on their personal needs and views, but it can be extremely powerful for many. I’ve walked quite a few people through their own meditation journeys just through social media messaging, helping them along the way when they have questions and need help. With loving results for them and their spirit loved ones. And I’ve experienced many healing instances myself, firsthand, with my own loved ones in spirit.


But, how is it possible…?


There is a science between the afterlife and the phenomenon of spirit communication. It’s more than just a belief system.


When Albert Einstein made statements like, “Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it,” that applies to more than just the earthly experience. If we are to believe in science, in physics, and in energy, then we must know that to be so. We must know that there is more out there than what we see, hear, and touch with our human bodies.


We must know that, because to understand the existence of energy is to understand that it cannot be destroyed.


We must know that, because to understand the existence of energy is to understand that we, ourselves, are energy.


To understand the existence of energy, is to understand that it vibrates at different rates, or frequencies, and that the frequency directly correlates to whether or not something moves slow enough to be seen with the naked eye or too quickly to be seen with the naked eye.

Einstein also said, “Matter is energy, energy is light, we are all light beings.” This is not to say that Einstein was speaking from a spiritual sense, he likely wasn’t – that is debated by many. We know only that he was speaking from a standpoint of physics. But what he stated applies to the concept of spirit communication as more than just a belief system. What he stated applies to the concept of spirit communication from the sense of us being more than skin, bones, and physical matter that can be seen with the naked eye. Einstein’s statement says that there are parts of us that vibrate at too high of frequencies to be seen with the naked eye, which he dubbed, “light beings”. Again, this doesn’t necessarily prove spirit communication, but it certainly supports the premise of it, especially when one cross references quantum physics with the multitude of interesting case studies that are now coming available surrounding both near death experiences and psychic mediumship.


So, what of consciousness and frequencies? Can that tell us anything? Many believe that consciousness comprises the soul, or vice versa, and is ultimately housed within the pineal gland in the human body until physical death. As Mark Anthony, JD wrote in The Afterlife Frequency The Scientific Proof Of Spiritual Contact And How That Awareness Will Change Your Life:

“It is an established fact that the brain has an electrical field. For decades, brain wave frequencies have been mapped and studied through the EEG (electroencephalogram) and QEEG (quantitative electroencephalogram), which are devices used to measure electrical activity within the brain. […] The mainstream biomedical position is that consciousness is a by-product of the chemical and electrical functions of the brain, although exactly how this happens is unknown. Nonetheless, since the 1920’s, an electromagnetic field theory of consciousness has been advocated by several scientists. Unfortunately, their work has been considered to be fringe elements and therefore outside of the scientific mainstream. Fortunately, this line of thinking is changing with a new generation of researchers in the twenty-first century. Discoveries by scientists such as Gary Schwartz, Johnjoe McFadden, Shellie Joye, Stuart Hameroff, and Sir Roger Penrose have reinforced the understanding that electromagnetic energy is the basis for consciousness. […] Twenty-first century advances in science and quantum physics continue to expand at exponential rates. Quantum physics can explain the electromagnetic soul, the afterlife frequency, spirit communication, near-death experiences, our mutual interconnectedness, and synchronicity. One of the originators of string theory, Dr. Michio Kaku, has even said, ‘Eternal life does not violate the laws of physics.’ It is common scientific knowledge that the brain and nervous system have electrical fields. The first law of thermodynamics in physics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only transferred from one form to another. This means that the electromagnetic soul preexisted the brain. It also means that when the brain dies, the energy within it does not cease to exist but is transferred, meaning that the electromagnetic soul survives physical death.” (Anthony, 2021, pp.32-34)


What I believe we can gather from this when combined with my own experiences…


When we live, we are walking, breathing, living consciousness of thought, emotion, knowing, and connection, which is all energy, residing in a human body, which is its own being of energy. Our thoughts, emotions, knowings, connections, or what we know as our identity sitting in the here and now, vibrates higher than the energy that beats our physical heart. Our soul vibrates at an exponentially higher frequency than that of our physical body and all of its biological processes. And all of us humans have both: a soul and a body. We are not just our body.


But since we do have both, we are also comprised of a multitude of frequencies, ranging from low to quite high. We come to rely most heavily on some of our lower frequencies, as the lower frequencies are what we are able to ‘see’. After all, if it can’t be seen, it must not exist. But, we do have access to higher frequencies, as well. A whole range, really. Because the sounds we hear can’t be seen and are higher than the frequencies of what we see, but lower than the frequencies of what comprises our consciousness.


Who decided that what we trust as energetic beings should stop at what frequencies we are able to hear with our ears?


It’s really as if we’ve decided we are only going to trust what other people over time have told us to trust, rather than decided for ourselves what we should trust innately. I.e. Trust what you see and hear only but nothing else about your energetic experience. At the same time, some of the same people + science tells us we are energetic beings, but that we apparently personally/individually can’t trust any frequencies other than those that equate to physical vision and hearing.


I call that hogwash.



Spirit communication is not something we need to cling to as a hope or as a belief – it is something we can know. It is science. It is spiritual. It is where the two intersect.

To delve more into the spirituality of spirit communication, I urge you to research the documented scientific studies of near-death experiences. Those studies conducted by Raymond Moody are a great place to start.



When it’s said to people, “You carry him in your heart,” it means that your heart space is expandable energy that can fill your body, the room you’re in, or even the universe. And your spirit loved ones share that same heart space energy. They blend theirs with yours, and that is where the spiritual practice of soul-to-soul, or spirit communication, occurs.

We have a misconception here in the earthly realm that we must wait for the spirit world to always be the initiators of contact. But that simply isn’t true. When your loved one was here in their physical body, was your relationship one-sided to the point that you only waited for them to call you, and if they didn’t talk, call, text, email, or stop over, then you didn’t communicate?


I’d be willing to bet that your answer is no.


People will often say things like, “I used to feel my son around me all the time, but I don’t feel him lately.” Or, “Why don’t I feel my husband anymore?”


There are a few answers to that regarding your own energy/nervous system having become better regulated to their new vibration, or your own vibration lowering for a myriad of human reasons such a grief, illness, stress, etc. – there are a few explanations, none of which include them ‘going away’.


But, the other answer to those questions is, “Reach out!” It’s not just up to the spirit realm to ‘allow’ us to feel their energy. We can invite them to us as well. We can reach out for them, as well. They don’t solely need to just reach out for us.


Death ends a life, not a relationship, and the relationships are still just as two-sided as they ever were. We as humans here in the earthly space may no longer be able to see our loved ones with our physical eyes but we haven’t lost our soul’s energy. We haven’t lost our power. We also haven’t given up power, love, capability, or ability in the relationships. It may be more difficult for us on our end than the ease they are enjoying, but the existence is still there.


We are constantly watching for signs and contact from our spirit loved ones, for them to ‘wow’ us. But what if they’re watching and waiting for the same from us? The relationship hasn’t died, after all. Imagine their glee if they’d get to experience a moment of, “She hears me! She sees me! She’s reaching out! She’s trying!”

I’m not in spirit, of course, but I can imagine, that we as a soul force here on earth could change the entire paradigm between our realms if more of us began practicing communicating from our direction towards them more readily.


If you are ready to start taking steps towards shifting your own awareness sign up for my self-paced workshop, Limitless: A Soul Workshop For Spirit Awareness here.




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